Lies and Injustice: the words that damn near kill men.
- CW
- Nov 21, 2016
- 4 min read
One of the biggest challenges we face at the moment is the notion that false allegations are “rare” and that “rarity” means we should not have a voice. We are supposed to turn a blind eye and follow suit with “victims” groups who refuse to accept that those who suffer false allegations are also victims.
As are their spouses and partners. And their children.
These men – and they are predominantly men – are also fathers, grandfathers, and uncles, et al. It is then the children in their families who carry the stigma of the allegation: some are even looked upon as being probable additional victims. Some are used as justification to separate the accused from their own family during the investigation.
And what does that do? It emotionally abuses the child, who can easily become so wracked with their own guilt as to what they must have done wrong. After all, they see their own family torn apart for doing nothing to anyone else. (Click here to read: "My Daddy Never Said Goodbye")
Where are the anti-child abuse campaigners when you throw THAT argument into the mix? Usually they are quick to reply that those who support the falsely accused assume every woman who claims to have been raped is a liar. We do nothing of the sort. The two arguments are like trying to polish a turd with tarmac. Moreover, we never even claim that an accused man should not have to face investigation. What we ask for is a balanced investigation. Interestingly enough: so does our legal system.
Rick's Story
But if you only read Rick’s story you can see the calamity in his case. Error after error. Constant and repeated mishandling of the case. Even admissions from officers that there is not really any case to answer…as they still pass it onto the CPS without a care in the world for the sheer damage the whole façade has on the accused and their family. I know of another man wrongly convicted of charges that were physically impossible to have occurred. (I wonder if he is off the “suicide watch” list yet). I know of a teenager who was wrongly convicted even though the judge readily admitted they didn’t believe the accuser!
I’ve been there. I have felt that gut-wrenching feeling every time the phone rings. I have felt the blood drain from my face when I see a police car. I have known what holding my life in limbo is like. I have lost friends who I couldn’t tell what was happening; who lost patience as I dug my mental health into a hole so deep that not all of it got out. And I have felt the emptiness when it is all over. No justice. No recognition of my innocence. No resounding retraction of the allegation: just a nonchalant shrug of the shoulders and a pitiful “no further action.” (My accuser even went for their next victim as my case was still going on.)
Time to Make Noise
So I say “no” to expensive inquiries that merely feed back into the same corrupt system that facilitates this abuse and just wafts it away with “lessons must be learnt.” I say “no” to pointless petitions for copious changes to laws, when that is not the source of the problem. And I say “no” to sitting back just telling each other our woes, preaching to the converted.
It’s time to make so much more noise. Get noticed, get heard. Face up to the ignorance that says our cases are rare. Don’t just meet in a group of mutually affected and supportive people, but also open up that closed circle and scream loudly from the rooftops, because:
Sticks and Stones may break my bones... but it was words that damn near killed me.
This is not a fight for those of us who have already been hurt. This is a fight for all those who WILL be abused in the future. The victims, their families, their community: our future. And if you can personally do nothing else, please read and follow “Rick’s” story on Facebook. Share it. Make it your goal to get three, five, ten, or as many more people to read the page as you can. It is a real story and it is happening now.
“Rick” is a false name, and no specific legal information is given out, and locations and details are masked, all to protect “Rick” who has said he will gladly share his real name when he’s able to.
And please, someone get me Ken Loach’s phone number because the stunning film “I, Daniel Blake” needs to be followed up with: “I, an innocent man…”
Please follow Rick's story on Facebook - please LIKE and SHARE the page as widely as you can. If you are on Twitter, also Tweet it there too - espeically in Mental Health Awareness Month.
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