When a fiction is needed to speak the truth for us

CW
Feb 7, 2016
5 min read

So the "Anthem for the Man" project has had its first objector. A man who seem to claim that allowing fictional writing would make the matter worse. That kind of person annoys me because they show a lack of intelligence and education and think that makes the them right and everyone else wrong, and refuses to adjust their opinion or be flexible in the light of new information. Pretty much...they are almost a perfect definition for "ignorant."

How can the Project claim to give voice if it allows fiction?

First thing's first... "fictional" stories can be anything where what is presented to the reader does not contain facts, is "made up", or is such a twisting of the facts that it can no longer claim to be factual. That is why a lot of what is written in the media is, technically, fictional - because it certainly isn't factual! It is far more important that when you claim something to be factual (such as autobiographical) that you are supremely careful that you are factually accurate. That's why many films will say "based on real accounts/events" etc, even though what they actually present is fictional.

Using the fictional approach also allows an analogous distance from the story, which can be a good idea for a number of reasons.

Legal reasons of anonymity or not otherwise identitfying specifc detailed information about the story
Safeguarding of children who might be too easily identified by events in the story if it is so realistically depicted
Mental Health reasons such as PTSD, Anxiety, depression might mean the writer wants to tell their story but needs some emotional distance.

Although I would not claim I suffered PTSD as a result of my experience with a false allegation, I most certainly took an absolute hammering to my mental health. For a very long time afterwards even seeing police officers would give me a shudder - totally irrationally, of course, since I was arrested in about as low key way as you can possibly be imagine. But still, when you are innocent and find yourself locked in a police cell for a few hours as you wait for a duty solicitor to arrive...that's a long few hours (for some it can be over night, even a day or more if extended).

And that stays with you.

So my play "No Smoke" is a fictional play but it is absolutely inspired by and based on real events. Every scene and line of that play is researched into the ground, and in fact it recieved much praise from a number of police, detectives, and experts on how frighteningly accurate it was.

But I couldn't even start working on it until four years after the event, and it took two and a half years to write and develop. Now, eight years on from my case, even the thought of submitting my own story into the project gives me the shudders. But I will do it in some way. I will find a voice for it - even if it is just a monologue or some creative outlet.

And that really is the point. When you have been a victim of a false allegation (especially of a sexual crime), or suffered years of domestic violence, or constantly suffer the pain of knowing your own children are being mentally abused and taught to hate you... quite simply... even just writing about it, for some, is such an act of bravery that only those who have experienced it can understand.

Anthem for the Man is not going to be an attack on women - in fact women are partly invited to write for the project. Women suffer. PEOPLE suffer. But the project is going to redress this notion that domestic violence is perpetrated by men and suffered by women. It is going to challenge the assumption that the woman is the "natural parent" and dads are expendable or "deadbeat" or less worthy of a part in their child's life. And it will certainly will be challenging the (male dominated) legal system that at times shows shocking bias against men in the way it applies laws that don't even mention gender for the most part, until you get to private Family law where the pendulum has swung from male ownership to near male oppression in some forms. It's going to allow men to speak out about what PAS feels like to them.

How Can you Guarantee that someone won't make up a story?

I can't.

Not any more than it seems the legal system can guarantee the guilt of men who suffer at the hands of false rape claims. In fact, even when there is no evidence that a rape even happened, the courts and CPS will never even dare suggest in most cases, that a woman lied, unless they can prove it. And yet, even when it can be proven (in a case I know of personally) that evidence was ignored and all the defendent got was a shrug of the shoulders when they asked if the liar would be charged for wasting police time - after they had languished on bail over a year!

So in the project, as Editor, I afford the men coming to me the same extension of trust that anyone should allow a victim who has the courage to say "listen to me", or "help me". They have no reason to lie to me - they won't gain anything from this. The book produced will either make no money, or will donate any profit made into relevant charities. So unlike many false criminal cases where compensation is the main focus, all that is on offer here is a change to say what I know is very hard to say...

...and the chance to know that when someone reads it they are showing their agreement to at least listen for a moment, whether they agree or not.

Some people might object to the project and want to try and silence it...fine, go right ahead. But it would leave me wondering WHY. Why are you afraid of this? Why does the idea of a beaten man, a wronged man, or an abused man scare you? Why can't you consider the idea that some men are great dads taken from children, not rubbish dads who had their children taken from them?

Please, if you have been a victim of a society whose pendulum of "equality" has swung way out of control in some respects, support this project. Get in touch. Share your story in whatever form you want.

And if you feel the need to tell your true story but through the protection of fictional distance, but don't know how to do that without being accuse of being a liar, know this:

I understand why

&

I can help you to do it.